I wasn’t one of the popular kids at school, when I was growing up I just did my own thing . I couldn’t really relate to anyone who didn’t like the same things as me, especially when it came to music. In 1992 I was into grunge, metal and alternative bands. I looked the part too. I had long hair, so long that I could sit on it. I played guitar and was in a band, but as time went by the music scene changed. Kurt Cobain died and Definitely Maybe was released. 1994 was an odd year. It wasn’t a smooth transition for me. I loved the britpop music but I felt like I was being a traitor to my alternative ‘roots’. I denied britpop at first. All the popular kids who were into mainstream music liked britpop. Mainstream music was the enemy! But britpop was still classed as alternative. All the british bands I was into before britpop came on the scene got relabled britpop and lots great bands came out of it. By this time I was in college and made new friends, I got more into britpop and my fashion sense changed accordingly. Gone was the long hair, the ripped jeans, doc martins and flannel shirts. In with short feathered hair, retro tracksuit tops and addidas trainers.
But britpop came and went, and afterwards I didn’t feel like I was a part of a scene anymore. I didn’t really have a particular ‘look’. As the years went by I guess I became more and more ‘Normal’. I didn’t feel the need to dress a certain way or follow a band religiously. It didn’t mean that music wasn’t as important to me as it was, it just wasn’t the be all and end all. I wasn’t a elitist. I still love meeting people who share my taste in music, who grew up listening to the same bands that I did. However do I feel like I have make some sort of secret handshake or something to find these people due to my ‘normal’ look. My hair has been it’s natural colour for over 10 years now and I don’t have any tattoos. I don’t think I really stand out in a crowd so how would they know that I know what i’m into. I do admire those who have stuck with a look. Everyone on SuicideGirls who have committed ink to their skin. Everyone who doesn’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks of them.
In 1992 I looked like Cliff (Matt Dillon) in “Singles”… Now in 2010 I look more like Steve (Campbell Scott).
I do find myself looking back at the bands and music I loved and listened to when I was growing up and falling in love with them all over again, digging out old band t-shirts. Newer bands seem to come and go and I don’t really notice. With music being so accessible and downloadable, gone are the days hunting down a rare single in the local indie record shop and more importantly meeting the people in there and finding new bands and music to listen to. I don’t realise how much time had gone by and the bands that I think are new are now considered old school. But I don’t question what music my friends listen to anymore. I find myself being surprised that some of them listened to pop music when they were growning up and have never heard of some of the bands that I listen to and made me who I am. It’s scary to think that if I had met them back then I doubt we would have still ended up as friends. So who is to say what is normal? Am I normal? Are you normal?